Nick’s Markers

Monday, June 20, 2022

Many years ago, Nick asked what I wanted for Christmas. Knowing that his budget was tight, I suggested some thin point felt tip markers. Surely enough, he came through – not the standard “BIC” pack that I had envisioned, but a fancier “BIC Mark-It” 8-pack of pastel colors. This was so like my son, who colored life helping others paint the world in unique ways. It’s one of my all-time favorite gifts, and no one knows. I didn’t open the treasured pack. I wanted to save the markers – for what? What special occasion would warrant the grand opening? I tucked them away in a drawer. So tucked away that they eventually were covered with piles of crossword puzzles I had clipped from newspapers, and I nearly forgot where they were.

One Christmas and 25 days later, I received a phone call with horrible news: my son Nick passed away suddenly, from a heart arrythmia we found out later, at age 34. My face and world were drained of color. My whole being, stunned and lost.

About 8 months later, I needed a thin-tipped colored marker. I dug through the drawer, and finally opened Nick’s markers, not wanting to use them up, yet wanting to honor him by actually using his thoughtful gift to me. I removed the blue one, wrote a few lines with it, carefully capped it tightly, placed all of the markers into a zippered pencil pouch, and back into the drawer they went! I wanted to save those markers as long as I could.

Six and a half years have passed since my Nick breathed his last. Today, I opened the zippered case holding his gift, because I wanted to write with color on a birthday card. The green one, this time. As I began to write, the faded green ink barely showed! I tried another one. Same thing. Sadly, the ink had dried up. Not surprising after all this time, but disappointing nonetheless.

As Nick’s face has been fading from our view, so the colorful ink.

Enjoy your children when they’re with you. They are precious gifts.

And, use the markers right away.